I really hate Bratz, the little hoochie-momma dolls that make Barbie a great role model for young girls (or girlz) by comparison. I’ve never been moved to rant about them; I just refuse to buy them for any young relative (luckily my 2 year old isn’t in the target demographic, at least I hope not). Apparently, the Bratz weren’t using adequate protection, as now we have Baby Bratz. James Lileks was moved to rant, and as usual he rants with the best.
I froze. The Bratz are now Baby Mommaz. Yes, the hooker-in-training dolls have children. Bratz are the main reason I do not keep a supply of bricks around the house, because everytime the commercials come on I wish to pitch something kiln-fired through the screen so hard it beans the toy exec who greenlighted these hootchie toys. The Baby Bratz are as bad as you can imagine: “Bottles with Bling.” Judas on a stick, why not just refit the Bratz so they have Real Oozing Gonorreal Flow Action?“They know how to flaunt it, and they’re keeping it real in the crib.”
What exactly is the penalty for failing to keep it real in the crib? Someone busts a cap in yo Pamper? I know I am old and so out of step it’s a wonder I don’t just appear as an indistinct smear, but was it really necessary to push the Age of Sultry Hussyism down to the infant stage? And who, exactly, are the Babyz flaunting it for? Are we going to see a commercial with Elmo in sunglasses, sitting with his legs sprawled, spanking some pliant Babyz with one hand while gumming down some mashed crack?
May 24th, 2005 at 3:56 pm
baby bratz rule they are a girlz best friend i totally disagree with you besides i have:pheobe,roxxi,yasmin,jade,cloe thannks for your time *me*
June 7th, 2005 at 5:52 pm
Dude, you totally know what you are talking about!!! Those “dolls” are exactly why i never like the toy section of target!
I’d like to dip one of them in acid, or lava, or liquid nitrogen!!!
June 7th, 2005 at 5:52 pm
Dude, you totally know what you are talking about!!! Those “dolls” are exactly why i never like the toy section of target!
I’d like to dip one of them in acid, or lava, or liquid nitrogen!!!
June 7th, 2005 at 5:53 pm
Sorry bout’ the double post
June 9th, 2005 at 9:06 pm
excuse me this is them when they where little they didnt have kids duh if you read the box you would no and puls barbie is a hooker she has big breasts and i dont think most girls have all that well atleast i dont
June 20th, 2005 at 4:57 am
i dont have no comments 2day if that is alright with you ha ha ha is that alright with you?if that is not alright with you than i will not enter the stupid compertition you got that